Like this post at GeekDad, I’ve had conversations with my 9-year-old son about life’s deep questions. Unlike Matt Blum at GeekDad, we haven’t talked about reality, existence, and perception.
We have talked about life and death and ethics. The death conversations are particularly poignant. The prospect of losing any family member is heart-wrenching. Rather than post about what was said - I can’t really remember anyway - I’ll focus on how to discuss difficult questions and issues. The content is important but the presentation is critical.
“WTF?” is an acceptable answer
When it comes down to it, shrugging your shoulders in a silent “WTF?” gesture works on most things. After awhile your kids will stop asking and rely upon their friends and acquaintances for straight talk on life, death, and, most important of all, sex. Parents who can say “WTF?” out loud to their kids have probably reached the point where their kids don’t ask too many questions.
Explain things at your level, not theirs
Have you ever tried to discuss metaphysics without quoting Descartes? “Cogito, ergo sum” - doesn’t get anymore succinct than that. Dumbing down your answers denies your children the benefits of intellectual struggle and confusion. Don’t baby your kids. This is as good as “WTF?” in getting them to stop asking hard questions. Plus, it’s fun making it up as you go along - also called “BS“.
Negativity and cynicism.
Pollyanna needs to chill - the sooner your kids dump their unicorns and Care Bears, the sooner they’ll be living in the real world with real problems. Life is unfair and it’s healthy to complain about it. Keep your kids healthy.
Younger kids don’t hide their negative feelings to save yours. Return the favor and they’ll appreciate your honesty later in life.
Tell a story with television
The abstractions of philosophy and metaphysics are difficult to discuss with young minds, so stories are wonderful tools to explain some concepts. The stories found in children’s television shows can easily answer many of their questions. Next time they ask, just set them down with their favorite cartoon.
